I Have a Voice

is naturally, a huge part of running an advisory business practice … and prospecting.
Matt’s first experience with stuttering began in adulthood. I have not spoken to him in detail but I did ask him in a second email to check out what it was he was so fearful about when speaking on the phone:
This statement is very provocative to me … since I don’t feel that I’m fearful of anything more than the possibility of stuttering … and the stuttering began at a time when I was questioning my passion for my career … and was particularly stressed with 18–20 hour work days. [italics added]
In the third email I inquired:
If you didn’t have the fear of the ‘possibility of stuttering’ what would change?
He replied:
I would be able to fluently and easily pick up the phone and speak with anyone and everyone without having the nervousness and apprehension which comes with the fear that I may not be able to communicate properly and get stuck over words. I would actually enjoy the experience of getting to know new people and conveying the Investment principles that I truly believe in.
Not being able to cope with dealing with clients on the phone suggests it is highly likely that the roots are in his childhood. Such behavior frequently indicates lack of confidence and that usually arises from a poor self-image. However, that can be changed. For example, Susan completed her story as follows:
Then I drew another picture. I was still in cage but stutter suit was off. The following thoughts were present:
I can make phone calls.
I can look people straight in the eyes.
I can stay in the moment of stuttering.
I can love myself for who I am, if I stutter or not.
Then I went a step further with the stutter suit off. I stepped out of the box and immediately I was in an empowered state. Here were my thoughts:
I am empowered, I am out of jail.
I can be real and all that I am. I can anything, there are no limits.
I can really rock.
There is so much I can do.
It is so amazing, how these 2 different states really create different results. It is really neat! Three keys to fluency
In working with PWS I have come to the conclusion that there are three key steps towards more fluency. The PWS must:
Develop a healthy concept of Self, especially within the context of stuttering.
Ignore what others may or may not think about them. Not be bothered by how other people talk about them.
Know that they have the personal resources necessary for living successfully in the world.
Of these, the first step is fundamental. It is only when the PWS has developed an inner sense of worth and self-esteem that they can ignore what others may or may not think or say about how they speak. When that fear goes, most if not all of blocking and stuttering goes with it.
The PWS crucially begins to overcome that ingrained habit by building a healthy view of themselves. In this book there are several exercises designed to assist you to lead a PWS towards a healthier view of themselves so that they can be fluent in all contexts. Using what you already have
I have a simple theory: “If a person can speak fluently in one context, then that person can learn to speak fluently in all contexts.” People who stutter already know how to talk; they do not need to re-learn how to do this. What they need is to be able to access the same state of mind they are in when they are speaking fluently.
Blocking does not happen all the time. It is only triggered in those contexts where the PWS has associated fear and/or anxiety. The emotional issues which contribute to blocking and stuttering are reinforced through experiences such as bullying, teasing, being ridiculed, and so on. Most if not all PWS fear what others will think of them if they block and stutter. They tend to define their concept of self based on this behavior and believe: “I am different, so there is something wrong with me.” Many PWS feel powerless to overcome this problem. They tend to believe that the world in which they live is filled with people who are out to get them.
Throughout life, bonds of various strengths are created between your experiences and your emotions, and these find expression in your body. Those which are repeated, both negative and positive, become stronger. It seems highly probable that the feelings which are connected to blocking affect the breathing and speaking muscles. In that way, blocking is similar to a panic or anxiety attack. However, a person who has panic attacks does not live every moment of every day panicking. Similarly, the person who blocks and stutters is not always blocking. As with a panic attack, blocking is triggered psychologically. Therefore the way to change this response is to change the cognitive aspects of this learned behavior.
The average PWS has spent years achieving mastery – they can block without thinking about it! To change this habit, they will need to spend time practicing flying into states of calm (see Chapter Five). The vast majority of clients with anxiety problems whom I have seen over the years took up to twelve hours of therapy to eliminate the fear or at least make it manageable. It then required three months or more practicing changing their focus of attention. However, it may take longer with PWS. Not all completely overcome their problem; a few hardly change at all.
Although I highly recommend that you work face-to-face with clients because that provides important visual information, much can still be achieved through telephone consultations. It is surprising how much can be done auditorily, even though this is the area of difficulty! After 25–30 hours and much practice, several PWS have gained either normal fluency or are greatly improved. Why does change take so long? Because these emotions and strategies are so well programmed into the body, and it