Annaka

house that still badly needed a new coat of paint, and Ms. Layton’s corner store that always had good deals on Freezies. It made me want to jump out of the van and soak in my surroundings. Once we passed the waterfront, that’s when it really kicked in. I remember Grampy taking me down there every Sunday afternoon after church. He would buy fish and chips, and we would throw rocks in the water. He told me to wish on them, but never tell him what I wished for.
“You feeling that too?” Mom asked, looking out towards the water.
“Yeah. I’m feeling it pretty hard,” I replied, confirming the nostalgia that filled the air around us.
I made a left turn at the next intersection and could see houses lined up against the ocean. We didn’t get that in Halifax. Halifax was more concrete than evergreen, there was no fantasy, only loud cars and city noise, and I didn’t miss it. Soon we’d be to Nan and Grampy’s—well, just Nan’s now—place. She lived on the edge of a lake not much farther from where we were.
“It’s this street right up here,” Mom said, pointing.
I turned right and we made our way up a dirt road with houses on each side. I could see Ms. Layton’s house. Then there was Mr. and Mrs. Evans’s house—they were sweethearts. Nan and Grampy had them over a lot when I was young, and I had been close with the Evans’s granddaughter, Tia. Mrs. Evans was a doctor and used to bring me stickers when she and her husband came over for dinner. I wondered if Tia was still around town. Maybe paying her a visit wouldn’t be a bad idea once I got settled in. Gosh, I missed her. I regretted not keeping in touch as much as I should have. For the first few months after Mom and I left, we would chat on the phone every Saturday afternoon. Eventually every Saturday turned into every second Saturday, to once a month, to once every six months, until Tia Evans and I faded away from one another.
I took a deep breath as I tried to drive straight down the path. So many memories flooded my head all at once, and in front of me was the biggest one.
“Here we are,” Mom said softly.
I could see Grampy’s crappy charcoal barbecue on the front porch. The top of my tree house could be seen just around the corner of the house, and Grampy’s red antique truck was parked in front of the garage. I got out of the van and walked straight to the old thing. I rested my hand on the aging hood. I noticed it was beginning to rust by the wheels. I loved that thing so much, and so did he. It was more than a truck; it was our airplane, rocket ship, dream-mobile.
“Hello!” I heard Mom calling out. “Anyone home?”
“Who’s that I hear?” someone replied, opening the front door. It was an older white man wearing a golf cap and a blue button-up shirt.
“Mr. Evans!” Mom smiled.
Mr. Evans looked a lot older since the last time I saw him; he now leaned on a cane and his once-brown hair was distinctly salt and pepper.
Mom gave him a warm embrace and he said, “Jayla, you’ve known me long enough to call me Ben.” He smiled. “Lillian is inside with your mother.”
“Thank you so much for taking care of her,” Mom said. “And thank you for handling the arrangements for Dad.”
“We’re always here, dear. I’m so sorry for your loss. Rudy was family to us, and so are you.”
“Thank you, Ben.”
“And is that Annaka I see?” Ben asked.
“Hey, Ben.” I waved. “I just go by Anna now.”
“Well, hello, Anna. I have to say, I prefer Annaka.”
“It doesn’t matter what you prefer,” I let him know. “My name is Anna.”
Mom gave me a look, but I was over letting people calling me what they think I should be called. I could let a lot of things pass, but I don’t let people decide my name for me.
“Okay, Anna,” Ben said, looking a bit stunned. “Hey listen, Tia is still around. She works at Ms. Layton’s convenience store just down the way. Would be nice if you popped in to say hello.”
I wondered if she even remembered me.
“It would be nice to see her,” I replied. “I’ll try to stop by in a bit.”
“I should probably go inside,” Mom said. “You coming, Anna?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. I think I’m gonna take a minute. It was a long drive.”
“All right, I’ll be inside, hon.”
After Ben and Mom went inside, I went around to the backyard and looked at the lake. I remember Nan teaching me how to swim in that lake. That’s a memory I held close. I didn’t want to go inside because I feared it was a memory she no longer had. I wasn’t ready for that. I knew she was in there, and I didn’t want to be a stranger to her. Not yet. I wanted to take some time and spend the last bit of ignorance I had to enjoy a sunset. I didn’t want to think about the future, or Grampy’s funeral, or Nan not remembering who her granddaughter was. I wanted to remember the woman who taught me how to swim, and the stubborn man who didn’t know when to throw away his crappy barbecue. I wanted to be in a place where I didn’t have to worry about the rest of the world. I was scared that Yarmouth probably wasn’t the place I remembered.
I couldn’t hide my smile when I turned to the tree house. I climbed the ladder and could see the sun sinking beneath the lake. Everything outside was just the way it always was, but I knew inside everything would be different. I didn’t want to cry yet. The world was slowly taking everything away from me but I wouldn’t let it take away that view. I