Anna's Secret

how unnatural that small normalcy felt. She had not enjoyed music for months.
How long since she felt happy, truly happy? The answer to that question eluded her. She dared not open that door or visit that room.
Pastor Harry wore an expression of concern as she entered his office.
“Sit, sit, Anna,” he said as he rose to usher her into a chair.
Rather than resume his chair behind the desk, he pulled up another one and sat across from her. He removed his reading glasses and rested them on the arm of the chair.
Without ceremony, he launched into prayer. As natural as breathing, he invited the Holy Spirit to join them and give wisdom. His prayer was short and heartfelt.
“Anna, how can I help?” He smoothed a hand through his thinning hair. “Eleanor and I talked in great length after your call this morning. We sincerely hope that the church hasn’t let you down. Have we failed to help you in the ways you need? You’ve been through so much … for so long.” He shook his head. “Too long.” His kind eyes radiated warmth encouraging her to speak.
Anna didn’t know where to begin. How did she tell her pastor she was pregnant only a few months after the death of her husband? Not a soul would believe the lonely existence they had shared together. Even if people could comprehend her loneliness, it was not an excuse she would use. She felt sorrow for those her mistake would hurt the most and prayed they would find it in their heart to forgive her.
“Anna,” he coaxed. “What is it?”
She blurted out the truth. “Pastor, I’m pregnant!”
His eyebrows shot up, and she could see the shock her words brought. She knew she’d have to toughen up and get used to that look. It took him a moment to speak.
He shook his head and lifted a hand to smooth his scrunched-up brows.
“Well, well, well … the Lord surely works in mysterious ways doesn’t he, Anna? He giveth, and then he taketh away, bless his name. But I guess in your case it’s the other way around. He took Steven and gave you a baby.”
Those were about the last words Anna had expected would roll off his tongue. A stunned and tongue-tied silence filled the room.
“Now remember, Anna, God wouldn’t give you this child if he didn’t think you were capable of raising the little one.” He rose, walked over to his desk, and began jotting down notes.
“Let’s see here. The prayer group will be notified and immediately begin to pray for an easy pregnancy, safe birth, and healthy baby. The women’s ministry group will be put on a weekly schedule to give you any help or support needed.”
Anna’s surprise blossomed as her eyebrows knit together in confusion.
He glanced up over the brim of his glasses. “Now, don’t even think of declining our help Anna, it’s the least we can do in the circumstances.
“Oh, and what about your finances? The Lord clearly encourages us to take care of the widows and the fatherless. Sadly, in your case there will be both.”
Anna remained speechless. She had always admired Pastor Harry’s compassionate spirit but had not been sure what to expect. This was over the top. She’d anticipated, at the very least, he would pray for her sinful ways and would want to know who the father was so he could suggest counseling in hopes of it leading to marriage. But this was astonishing.
“I’m … I’m okay for now. I’ll be able to carry on with my job for a number of months, so my finances will be adequate.”
“Don’t be afraid to let me know if you need extra help. Besides, you don’t want to be exhausted because finances dictate you have to work right up to the end.
“Let’s see?” A frown etched his brow as he thought for a moment. “You’re what, at least four months along now? Although, my dear, you don’t look it.” He glanced at her midsection and shook his head. “It’s all the stress you’ve been under, poor dear.”
“Let’s say you work another three months, and then we’ll help you with your finances so you can have some rest before the baby is born.” He jotted down another note. “I know that the church board will agree wholeheartedly, so you can consider it done. Then we’ll continue to help you financially until you tell us otherwise. We’re here for both you and your baby, Anna. You can rest assured.”
He rose to full height and shook his head in wonder. “As hard as this may be to understand, dear Anna, God planned that you would have another legacy from the great man you lost. It truly is a miracle that you could conceive, with Steven being so sick and at your age. It’s almost like a modern day Abraham and Sarah story, if you ask me.”
Anna’s head snapped up and she couldn’t stop her eyes from bulging out of her head. The straightening of her spine nearly jerked her from the chair.
“What, Anna, you didn’t seriously think we wouldn’t support you in your time of need, did you?”
Anna shook her head. Her heart sunk to the bottom of her shoes. So, this was what he believed. It all made sense now. He thought the child was Steven’s. Oh, it would be so simple to leave it there. If the child were born a month late who would suspect anything? Both her boys had been overdue and not a soul thought anything of it. The wheels of deceit began to turn and pick up traction.
Her relief lived but a second. As clear as if someone had audibly spoken the words, she heard the Holy Spirit speak into her soul, The truth will set you free.
She knew what God wanted her to do, but never had she been more tempted in her life to let a half-truth live. After all, she had not spoken one lie. Maybe this was God’s form of mercy.
Again, the spirit spoke.