Anna's Secret

place. Please, please … leave me alone.”
Genuine tears flowed down her cheeks. She cried for Matt, for her lies, for their baby who would never know a father.
The crestfallen look on Matt’s face spoke volumes. Her words had hit the mark.
“No wonder you responded so readily. You were making love to a memory, and I was the fool making love to you. What an idiot I am.” He raked his hand through his hair and paced the kitchen. “You begged me to leave you alone these past three months, but no. I never imagined that you could respond the way you did and it not be me you wanted or needed. It all makes perfect sense now. What a fool I am.” In a daze, he turned and walked to her front door.
“Goodbye, Anna.” Though he paused, he didn’t turn back. “I’m truly sorry, and I won’t bother you again.” The quiet click of the door was the last she heard before she fell in a heap to the floor. Agony roiled and twisted within her. She was sick to her stomach, and it had nothing to do with the pregnancy.
“I’m so sorry, Matt, so very, very sorry. You don’t deserve this.”
“Oh, God, what have I done?”
The agony and weight of her deceit crashed in damning her. Conviction pressed down. The depth of her cruelty to hide the truth stunned her.
Justification volleyed for attention. I could hurt Matt, or I could hurt many others. What choice did I have?
Truth, however, tugged at the edges of her mind. She liked the respect her good girl image had given. Perfected for far too many years, she couldn’t bear the thought of a fall from grace. The destructive power of pride lay swaddled in the manger of her choice—deception.
Anna didn’t need to question why God and his peace had become a distance friend. She had heard countless times that truth would set her free, and she had chosen lies.
Tears would not fix this mess, but they were all she had.
Anna scurried out the door to meet Steven’s mom, Betty, for lunch. Matt had stayed clear, and now was the time to tell her family. Pastor Harry was waiting on her to make her pregnancy public so the church could lend a hand. She could not delay the inevitable. She had set the table of deceit, and now it was time to pull up a chair and eat the fruit.
Anna picked a spot she knew would put Betty at ease. Betty had a flare for the dramatic, loved good food and excellent service. The upscale Eldorado Hotel fit the bill perfectly and remained one of Betty’s favorite places to “do” lunch.
Anna shifted nervously in the chair awaiting her arrival. Though spring still held crispness, the garden patio was open and afforded just the privacy she needed. Copious blooms spilled from the hanging baskets in a rainbow of cheery color and filled the air with a pungent fragrance. A cool breeze kicked up off the lake and made Anna second guess her decision until the patio heaters automatically turned on. They radiated a warmth she wished could reach the cold on the inside.
“Well, little one,” she said as she smoothed a hand over the tiny protrusion beneath her fingers. It’s time to tell your grandma all about you.
She’s really not the child’s grandma, is she? Matt’s parents would be the grandparents.
Disturbing thoughts of truth cut into her train of thought. She hated the fact this often happened and pushed them away yet again.
“Yes, my baby, I’m so glad I can feel you now.”
She had taken up the habit of talking to her little one ever since that first flutter of movement. Like butterfly wings gently taking flight, the tiny sensation caused excitement and brought relief. With the stress she was under, she had been worried about the development of her child. Though it had been difficult to face the pregnancy, she now realized how much she wanted this baby.
Matt would want this baby too. He has every right to know that you carry his child.
One daunting thought after another jabbed in until she felt like an over-used pincushion. With determination she redirected her thoughts to Betty.
Anna loved Betty. She had taken Anna in as a daughter-in-law and promptly removed the “in-law” thereafter. She helped Anna heal from the loss of her own mother by being a kind replacement.
With Betty and George always so good to her, Anna rationalized how it would hurt them to have the memory of their late son tainted by this pregnancy so soon after his death.
In quiet moments when truth prevailed, Anna admitted she craved their approval and didn’t mind the fact they practically hero-worshipped her for all the years she had taken care of their son. She couldn’t let one mistake wipe away twenty-three years of exceptional reputation.
Her lie gained power. Like the baby growing within, it had life. One lie bled into two, three, four, and many more. She now lived in a state of angst. Her life up to this point had not been one prone to deception.
Will I trip up on some detail? Will I forget to tell people that I’m a month farther along than I actually am? Will people believe that I’m not showing as much due to the stress and loss of weight incurred after Steven’s death? Will I get used to the lies?
Anna’s heart rate spiked each time a lie rolled off her tongue. The fringes of darkness crowded in.
She wanted to run when she saw Betty weave her way through the lunchtime crowd, but instead she waved her over with a well-practiced smile.
Betty hugged her and slipped gracefully into her chair. Her brightly colored sequined sweater and pencil slim skirt would have looked overdone on most people, but Betty could handle the look. With her trim, still youthfull figure, immaculate coiffure, manicured nails, and Louis Vuitton purse, Betty looked like she could have stepped out of the pages of a