Anna's Secret

hand was forced. His child grew within her, and she had to make sure he never found out.
The closer the hour drew to his arrival, the more miserable she felt. Pride and self-preservation held her firm and stilled her fingers from dialing the phone and cancelling their meeting.
Just beyond the curtain, she watched him jump out of his vehicle and climb the steps to her front door two at a time. He looked all too eager. Her legs began to shake, and she sank into a nearby chair. Could she really do this to him?
The doorbell chimed in rapid succession with a definite urgency. Anna clutched the sides of the chair in her hands. She longed to present a cool, collected front, but there she sat digging her nails into the leather. About as calm as a hummingbird in flight, she gathered her courage and rose.
With one last careful appraisal in the hallway mirror, she was thankful her tall frame and the choice of a loose-fitting blouse and flared black skirt carefully concealed the growing bulge. She had left her wavy hair flow free down her back knowing this would create a further distraction.
I wonder what he thinks about me agreeing to see him after three and a half months of silence?
There he stood, the outline of his wide shoulders and strong frame filtered through the misty glass in the front door. A flash of memory brought the feel of those muscular shoulders splayed beneath her fingertips alive. A hot flush spread over her body. She wanted to cower and once again ignore him but knew she must not. With the door handle grasped firmly in her hand, she opened it wide.
Matt’s easy smile vanished and something intense took over. He didn’t move or say a word as his eyes locked with hers. They stood silently staring, both tongue-tied, drinking in the sight of the other.
Anna’s heart jumped into her throat. Blood began to thrum through her veins as she tried valiantly to still the raw emotion that flooded in. She didn’t want to feel. She wanted to say goodbye with no heartache and had hoped it would be easy for the both of them. What a foolish notion.
“Doctor Carmic—Matt, come in.” Her words sounded forced and fragile even to her.
She turned from his stare to break the awkward moment and walked into the kitchen, confident he would follow.
“Matt, would you like a drink, a soda, a wat—”
“No, Anna, all I would like is you.”
An audible gasp slipped from her lips as she turned toward him, keeping the island safely between.
“So, this is how it’s going to be, Matt, right to the point? No niceties, no small talk?” She tried to sound aloof and in control, but the fact her hands trembled didn’t help the situation.
His eyes flitted from her hands to her flushed face in a way that told her he was fully aware she was affected by his presence. He had always been perceptive. She remembered how, as Steven’s doctor, Matt had skillfully broken down the walls of her unspoken distress. He had taken the time to care not only about Steven but every family member who suffered alongside. With compassion and expertise, he had broken down the barriers. She had shared snippets of truth about her struggles that no one else knew. Many people commented on his exceptional bedside manner. Anna knew he was gifted. Today, that quality frightened her.
“Anna,” he said softly as he wound his way around the island to stand before her. “I guess I could ask you to explain the silence. I could beg you to reconsider your decision.” He reached out to touch her arm, and she flinched and backed away.
“I could even kiss you senseless, but then again what would tomorrow bring? Would it bring more regret? Would it stir your moral convictions and leave you a sinner?’
Her cheeks flushed with heat, and she brought her hands to her face to hide the obvious. His forthrightness cut deep.
“I never meant to hurt you or to go against your beliefs. And I swear I never meant for that evening to go beyond anything other than comfort. But I’m not in the least bit sorry. I won’t lie, Anna, you mean a great deal to me, so don’t ask me to regret something I found incredibly beautiful—” his words broke off in a whisper.
Anna felt control of the situation slip away. She placed one hand over the other to still the movement. Everything within her wanted to calmly confront him, but she couldn’t even make eye contact. The tiles on her kitchen floor held her rapt attention. She was thankful he kept his distance.
“I’ve done some reading on what Christians believe and now understand that you have different convictions about premarital sex than I do. I also know this is not something you’ve ever done before. I don’t make a practice of it either, but Anna you … consumed me. I’ve never felt anything before that came close to what we shared.” He rubbed a hand around the back of his neck. “It’s hard for me to be so honest.”
Anna braved a quick look and knew he spoke the truth. His startling blue eyes held open emotion that pulled her in. Anna took a deep breath but forgot to exhale. This was not going as planned. She felt the spike and jolt of attraction course through her system.
Matt cleared his throat and swallowed hard. “I know you were in a vulnerable state that night, and for that I’m sorrier than words can say.”
“No,” Anna interjected finding her voice. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have—”
“Anna, let’s not ... try and figure out how to divvy up the blame. I’m having a difficult time regretting any of it, and I would rather not hear that you don’t feel the same.”
A longing soaked through his words, and he took a few steps closer. Instinct told her to back away. She was now up against the